The Boy Who Couldn't Cry
by sirius-will-live-on
Summary: It's Snape 5th year at Hogwarts but will he be able to cope with his new foound feelings for a certain Gryffindor Prefect SSLE


A/N disclaimer I don't own anything or anyone in this story, all characters are property of the amazing JK Rowling.

Chapter 1.

"I will NOT cry, I will NOT give him the satisfaction." Thought Severus as he crouched in the dusty corner of the kitchen. He watched helplessly as his father hit his mother hard across the face. Severus Snape was a fifteen-year-old boy who was very skinny with sallow skin, a long hooked nose, small black eyes and a curtain of long greasy black hair. His mother let out a small scream of pain, which caused Snape to stand up in rage.

"STOP!" he yelled, hatred coursing through his veins. This caused his father, Tobias, to turn his attentions to Severus.

" What did you say to me boy?" Tobias growled in a dangerous voice. He took a step towards Severus and Severus started to back away. He clearly hadn't thought this threw, he wanted to help his mother but he didn't know how. Tobias was so much larger than him, and a lot stronger to. Then a thought occurred to him, dared he use his wand. His hand edged toward his back pocket where his wand was concealed. He gave his mother a quick glance but what he saw frightened and slightly enraged him. Eileen had realized what Severus was about to do and slowly, with immense effort she was getting up and walling over to Tobias.

"Tobias, dear, why don't you go sit in your chair and I'll bring you some dinner and something to drink." She placed a loving hand on her husbands shoulder and he stood up a little straighter.

" Just as I thought," Tobias half laughed, " your nothing but a worthless, sniveling coward boy. You won't do anything without your mother. You're both worthless. " With that he strode out of the room and Eileen and Severus heard the front door slam shut, meaning he had gone out for a good long night of sitting at the bar with some of his mates.

"WHY DID YOU STOP ME FROM HEXING HIM!" Severus yelled at his mother, " WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY HERE MUM, YOU'RE A WITCH JUST USE YOUR WAND AND LET'S LEAVE HIM." Severus was shaking with emotion. Eileen had both her hands on the counter for support. Her breath was extremely labored; this had been one of the more violent beatings she had received.

" Severus, darling, I know you don't understand but I can't leave him," She turned her large, dark eyes to him and he could see tears running downs her pale cheeks "I love him." Severus let out a small-exasperated laugh.

" LOVE him, mum that's not love that's fear. I can't believe your going to just let him treat you like this, treat _me_ like this. Why didn't you just let me hex him mum?" Severus could feel himself welling up with emotion, but he had learned long ago that crying would get you nowhere so he forced his emotions back down and looked his mother straight in the eye.

" If your father knew what we are then it would just get worse dear. And besides you don't want to be expelled from Hogwarts do you?" He was taken aback by the mention of his school.

" How can you think that I'm going to leave you here with that bastard mum, at least I can help keep him from beating you to hard."

"Son, they're really not that bad…"

"NOT THAT BAD, MUM, LOOK AT YOURSELF. YOU CAN HARDLY STAND UP" this was true, as Eileen had just slid a few inches toward the dingy floor.

"Your over-reacting Severus," she said in a stern voice but winced as she did, " Just help me up the stairs so I can have a rest." Severus didn't dare disobey his mother so he put her arm over his shoulders and slowly helped her up the molding staircase until they reached her room. Once she was settled into bed Severus sat beside her until she drifted into a sleep.

Sitting beside her bed and watching his mother sleep, he wondered how anybody could be so strong and yet weak at the same time. How could she put up with his filthy muggle father for so long? He hated his father for everything he had done to them. He couldn't think of even one happy memory that had his father in it. Now that he thought of it, he couldn't think of any happy memories. For the second time today he felt tears beginning to surface, but with one look at his poor helpless mother lying there asleep on the bed he forced them down once more. He had to be strong, for both their sakes.

A few days later Eileen and Severus were sitting at the small, decrepit breakfast table having a bit of toast when they heard a tapping at the window. They both looked round frightened of what they might see, for they hadn't seen hide nor hair of Tobias since the last fight. To their relief however it was a large tawny owl carrying a parchment envelope. Severus got up to open the window; Eileen's ribs were still bruised as she refused to heal them with magic. The letter was from Hogwarts, it was his booklist and his letter detailing when the train would be leaving. Severus would be entering his fifth year at Hogwarts but he wasn't all that excited about it.

" Would you like me to come with you to get your school things this year?" Asked Mrs. Snape pushing herself up and walking over to him, wincing with every step. She took his booklist from him and read it over. " Looks like we'll have to go to Gringotts and get some more gold first. I think you'll be needing some new robes to, your growing so much." She said lovingly.

" I'm not going back," Severus said as his mother had began walking away. She turned slowly to him.

"What so you mean 'not going back' of course your going back, your education is extremely important."

"I'm not leaving you alone here with him, mum. I don't really need to go back anyway, I can just get some books and learn on my own, there's not much difference either way."

"No Severus, I will not have you jeopardizing your future over this. Your going back and that's FINAL." His mother put so much emphasis on this last word that it hit him like a whip and he took a step backward. " Now…" She cringed as she propped herself up on the table " would you like me to go with you to Diagon Alley to get your things?"

"No, I'll be fine..."

The rest of the day passed in silence, until BANG. Severus had been sitting in his room reading his Defense Against the Dark Arts book from his previous school year when BANG he heard it again. He raised himself off his bed slightly and BANG… this time he heard the familiar cry of pain with it. He launched himself off his bed and flew down the stairs just in time to see his father raising his hand to take another swing at his mother. He launched himself at Tobias grabbing his arm and trying to pull him away from his mother. He could smell the whiskey on Tobias and new that this drunken rage would make it harder to distract him. Severus kicked Tobias in the back of the knee with all his might and Tobias let out a holler of pain.

" YOU LITTLE BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" Tobias turned on Severus who scrambled backwards on the floor where he had fallen. He felt his back press up against the wall and began to panic, he had backed right into a corner and his father was advancing on him like a charging bull. Tobias raised his hand and hit Severus hard across the face. Severus could see little stars in front of his eyes. His father raised his hand to hit him again when SMASH a glass vase hit Tobias in the back of the head. He stood there momentarily dazed by the blow but when he came back to reality he turned around to see Eileen standing beside the end table where the vase had once been, she was panting as though the effort of throwing the vase took all her strength. Tobias Thundered towards her and although he blocked Severus's view of what was happening, he knew his mother was in for a terrible beating.

He got up and made to go help her but he heard her cry out to him " NO, SEVERUS JUST GO! LEAVE NOW! RUN!" she screamed and Severus seen her fall to the floor, her body limp. Tobias, having knocked Eileen out, turned on his son once more. He began advancing on Severus but he was to slow. Severus hurtled across the small entrance hall and out the front door.

He kept running and didn't look back. He didn't even stop to find out which way he was headed. Finally after what seemed like an hour of running he couldn't go anymore. He stopped to catch his breath; he had a terrible pain in his side. He sat down on the ground, which he realized was soft luscious grass. He breathed in the crisp night air and as his breathing eased up he began to look around. He saw he was sitting in a well-kept front garden. There were marigolds planted in the flowerbeds and all the bushes were neatly trimmed. He felt exhausted and sprawled himself out on the well-watered lawn. All of a sudden the porch light went on and before he could sit up the door opened. Illuminated by the porch light was a very pretty girl, about the same age as Snape, she had long red hair and dazzling green eyes. Snape was horrified he sat bolt upright.

"Who's there" called Lily Evans. Snape made an attempt to move more into the shadows but someone inside the house had flicked the sitting room light on which illuminated the stop where he was sitting. Lily stood dumbfounded, " Severus?" she said still puzzled. Lily was in the same year at Hogwarts as he was, though they were in different houses, she in Gryffindor and he in Slytherin. He wanted to get up and run, this was the last person he wanted to see at the moment, but he was still worn out from running and he couldn't bring himself to move. Then a man appeared at the door and put his hand on Lily's shoulder. This has to be her father, thought Severus. The man was tall and lean; he had brown hair but the same emerald eyes as his daughter.

"Is something wrong Lily, who's that?" he asked, noticing Severus for the first time.

"It's alright dad I'll be back in a minute." Lily said brushing her fathers hand off her shoulder. She gave him a small smile as he stepped back inside. Then she turned back to Snape with a quizzical look. She was in her nightdress with a fleece robe and fuzzy slippers; Snape felt an odd sensation in his stomach, as though the bottom had just fallen out of it. She walked over to him with the same puzzled look onn her face.

"What are you doing here Severus, I didn't know you lived around here." She said as she crouched on the grass beside him. He pushed himself away from her slightly although he remained seated on the grass.

" Why do you want to know" he asked her in a harsh tone of voice. He didn't need her help, the last thing he needed was for her to start judging him and to pity him.

"Well you see when I have random wizards showing up on my front lawn at 1:30 in the morning and waking my family up, I kind of like to know why their here." She said sarcastically. Snape felt himself flush, he couldn't tell her why he was there, he didn't even know where here was. " Severus!" Lily exclaimed, "You're bleeding."

"What?" Snape reached up and touched the spot on the side of his head where his father had hit him and sure enough there was a small trickle of blood running down his face.

"Here let me help you," Lily said standing up and offering Severus her hand. He didn't know what to do, he had never really spoken to Lily before, he thought she was a little miss know-it-all and she reminded him of the one person he hated almost as much as his father, James Potter. There was part of him though that realized how foolish it would be for him to refuse her help. He was after all alone with no money and only his wand. Lily crouched back down after waiting there for a few minutes with her hand outstretched. " Severus," she said bringing him back to reality, "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to… I promise I won't bite." He laughed in spite of himself. Lily helped him up off the grass and began leading him towards the door to her house.

"I don't really need help I hope you know." He said out of the blue and Lily stopped dead. She looked at him with her big green eyes. He could see that he had hurt her feelings but he didn't care he was not going to let anyone think he wasn't strong enough to take care of himself.

" That's alright, I just like to give help, even to those who don't need it." She gave him a soft smile and he felt himself soften in spite of everything. "Now come on inside so we can clean up that cut."


End file.
